Jonathan Martin’s Finger Prints All over Incognito’s Hospitalization and Dolphin Stench

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PC: tddaily.com

PC: tddaily.com

Jonathan Martin is one troubled individual.  He attracted other troubled individuals including Richie Incognito and his merry band of misguided fiends in the toxic cesspool that was the Miami Dolphin organization.

Martin’s prints are all over the Miami Dolphin crime scene fiasco and are integrally intertwined with Incognito’s current pathological issues, actions and hospitalization.

The stench from the soiled jockstraps and fecal communications among the miscreants that inhabited the Dolphin locker room continues to seep out, as Incognito has recently smashed his car and is now in a proverbial padded cell.

Martin continues to struggle with his long standing issues and battles with chronic depression . This along with other social-emotional issues that Martin grapples with, has inhibited his capacity to meet the demands of the multitude of environments he has had to navigate–including the NFL.

It has been reported by those in know that Incognito’s friends are worried about him–as they should be.

But no one should take their eye off Martin who is going to need a nurturing environment with a proverbial babysitter when and if he returns to the NFL.

Is there such a thing in the NFL?  Do people who are not able to cope in the NFL or any work environment belong in those environments?

In situations where suspected bullying has occurred, the greatest degree of attention is paid to and blame placed on the bully.

This often does not allow us to look at why an individual is bullied in the first place, which is exactly what has happened with Martin, and so many others like him.

Martin presents as ill equipped to handle many of life’s situations. People who are feeling well do not engage in mutually vile texting messages with co-workers, suddenly pick up and leave their jobs, check into hospitals, and look to remedy situations through attorneys who are suggesting they were in fact harmed–as Martin has done.

Martin by all accounts has been bullied since primary school. The only time Martin was not a victim was during his college days when he was protected by his college coach Jim Harbaugh, who is currently embroiled in his own psycho-drama out in 49er land.

In many ways Martin is a classic example of those individuals who are bullied.

Bullying often begins in the primary grades where peers sense they can pick on certain individuals who like Martin, lack the social-emotional skills to cope with peer barbs, or for that matter ordinary age appropriate social situations.

Additionally, they often have difficulty separating from their parents who rush to their aide, which only further serves to perpetuate the “victim cycle”, as peers become angry when ratted on, and contemptuous of those who need their parents to solve their problems.

Parents early on sense that their children are having difficulties, and Martin’s parents have been an integral part of his life, while often providing a sounding board for the internal conflicts he experiences.

It has been my experience that those that are bullied have little insight as to why they are being bullied, as all too often they are comfortable wrapping themselves in the protective womb and receiving blanket of being the victim.

This does not allow them to be self-reflective nor make the necessary changes they need to in order to cope with their environment.

It did not take a rocket scientist to figure out that the NFL needed a good course correction when it came to the kinds of attitudes and behaviors that were exhibited in the Dolphin cesspool, and are seeping out of Michael Sam’s coming out.

And to be fair not all locker rooms if any, are like the Dolphins. But as usual we take things too far when we emotionally over-react or pander to zealots.

Many hearts have gone out to Martin as they should as many can relate to being depressed as well as struggling to cope.

However anti-bullying activists have jumped on the bandwagon to promote their agenda of a purified society while at the same time over identifying with Martin.

It goes without saying that no one can condone bullying on any level and we can, and should do better.

The trouble is that the most recent research has shown that the anti-bullying programs are not working. What a surprise!  Programs run by misguided sanctimonious zealots are rarely successful.

Funny it is just those zealots who often look down at the rest of us– which can be a hallmark trait of those that are bullied!  They actually reject the peer group and their norms while frowning upon them– which is a sure fire recipe to get oneself picked on.

Some might say that the NFL is filled with a compliment of men who have never had to grow up and are perpetually stuck in an immature emotional state. That would explain why so many are in need of guidance, support and refereeing,

It is now going to fall on the referees to further purify the game, as they have been instructed to call penalties for certain kinds of offensive language used by players and coaches.

Maybe we should also have the referees carry pacifiers to stick in the mouths of the players when they curse.

In addition, teams are going to be held to new work place standards that were long overdue. It is a shame that they were unable to do it themselves.

We have way too many Martin’s in the world that need and will continue to need support and assistance to function at their jobs.

Society needs to take a long hard look at why this happening as greater resources are needed to fund programs and research to address these issues.

Regardless of this the Martins of the world therapeutically need to look at why they have been perpetual victims, instead of focusing on others who have wronged them.This should be part of any treatment plan for these types of individuals.

But then again it has been my  experience that they are too frequently focused on blaming others to even give that a semblance of a thought.

This is why therapists have to consistently remind themselves those are just the reasons why people like Martin are patients.