Ray Rice: More Attention Needs To Be Paid To The Victims



The outrage over Ray Rice’s behaviors has brought renewed national attention to the abuse of women-as it should. To date the focus has been mostly on Rice, and now Roger Goodell is being scrutinized for his handling of the Rice affair, as well as several other players who have committed crimes.

We are in the midst of what is hopefully going to be a fruitful discussion that will lead to less people being abused.

This discussion should focus on both on the abusers and the abused.  As both parties clearly need help.

It is suggested that more attention should be paid to individuals who are prone to being abused.

While there is absolutely no condoning violent behaviors on any level it has been my experience that individuals who are abused have a low self-concept.

They also often lack the social skills that are necessary to navigate their troubled relationship.

They come from homes where they have either witnessed their mothers or fathers being abused– or they have been abused by a family member. Or both.

They often repeat the patterns and dynamics that were present in their homes in their own marriage and relationships.

Given the role models that they had this makes sense.

They are often afraid to leave because they are physically intimidated or they are uncomfortably familiar in their situations and scared of change.

They rationalize or dismiss their spouse’s–boyfriend’s, girlfriend’s behaviors thinking that they will change much in the way they wished their abusers behaviors would change.

When young children are abused they internalize it as if something is wrong with them. After all why would a parent who is supposed to love them threat them in this manner?

It has been interesting to see how Rice’s former high school and college coaches have responded. They have of course stated that Rice made a horrible mistake that was inexcusable. However, they have also stated that he is an outstanding individual who made a singular mistake.

While it is possible that this was one hiccup in an exemplary life that Rice has led, it is rare that people like Rice have only committed one mistake of this nature.

Or made only one mistake for that matter. We are all human.

People like Rice often come from homes where abuse was modeled, or the treatment of females was less than enhancing. And they too carry on the pattern that they have witnessed, much in the way Adrian Peterson is claiming he did when he beat his son in the manner he said that he was parented.

I would not be surprised if other women come forward or other incidents come to light about Rice’s past. And perhaps Peterson’s as well.

I can assure you that TMZ who broke the video story is looking for this information as I write.